<![CDATA[David Price<br /> - Blog]]>Sat, 17 Dec 2011 15:28:01 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Blog #95 A Week To Remember]]>Fri, 07 Jan 2011 20:03:41 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2011/01/blog-95-a-week-to-remember.htmlThis first week of January each year is one that stirs up a lot of memories for me.
January 4 is the anniversary of Dorothy's death and today is the anniversary of our dad's death.
Dad's been gone 37 years today and mom (Dorothy) has been gone for 29 years as of this past Tuesday.  Seems so stange to me, even after all these years.  They've been deceased for so many years.

I realize how fortunate I am to be able to see a therapist on a regular basis.  Weeks like this are sometimes more overwhelming than I like to admit.  But, my therapist always has a way of showing me how to honor the feelings and pay attention to the lesson.

Recently in therapy I've been working on my "inner-child".  I'm realizing how so many of my behaviors as an adult are directed by this part of me.  And as part of that process, I recover memories long forgotten. 

During this time of the year (January),  I always find myself reflecting on my current memories of dad and Dorothy and what they represented in my life.  Some of the memories are ugly (especially about dad) and then I remember the events of the day mom (Dorothy) passed away.  If you've read my memoir, you know what I am talking about.  Some years the pain is hard to deal with.  And this year was no exception.  In fact, it's really been tough this year.
However, I know there is a lesson in all of it for me and hopefully I will gain some insight from it all.

Perhaps the fact that I can write about it is a big step.  I know that there is a huge part of me that misses having parents and I often wonder what they think of me and the man I've become? 

I know my therapist (and many in my love circle) will say that mom and dad are very proud. 

I'm working on believing it too!  :)

Namaste!

David :)]]><![CDATA[Blog #94 Christmas Party]]>Sat, 18 Dec 2010 16:58:37 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/12/blog-94-christmas-party.htmlLast night a group of us from It Happens to Boys went back to the facility here in the desert that houses boys ages 6-14 who have been removed from their homes because of abuse, to have a Christmas party.  As expected, it was a lot of fun.

We had pizza and then played some games.  Everyone from our group pitched in and bought each of the 24 boys a gift card to Target.  It was a small token gift, but one that they seemed to really appreciate.  We figured this way they could buy something they wanted.  Maybe a CD or DVD.

One of the boys who did not participate in last month's gathering (instead chose to sit and stay still), really opened up last night. It was so cool.  What seemed to stand out about this for me was something I've learned about children.  They crave structure. And maybe all this young boy needed was to know that we are going to consistently come there and spend time with them.  At least that's what my intuition told me.  And I'm glad to be that for him.  They've faced some ugliness in their young lives and need to know that there are adults in the world who do care about them and their well being. 

Before we ended the party we all sat together and told what we wished for this Christmas.  Most of the boys wished for a reunion with family members.  One boy wished that his Social Worker could find a permanent home for him.  That choked me up.  

After our party was over, some of the boys and their house leaders invited us into their homes to see their Christmas decorations and meet their pets.  I got to meet a few lizards and snakes.  Of course, I chose not to let them know that I am extremely afraid of snakes.  Nope, instead, I actually held them.  
Inside I was freaking out, but on the outside I had my game face on.  I just figured that if they weren't afraid, I probably had nothing to fear either. 

I left last night feeling like it was one of the best Christmas parties I've been fortunate to attend.  
For me, it's really what Christmas is all about!

Namaste!

David :)

   
]]><![CDATA[Blog #93 My Latest TV Interview]]>Tue, 23 Nov 2010 18:44:20 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/11/blog-93-my-latest-tv-interview.htmlFollowing is the link to an interview I did a few weeks back.  I mentioned it in an earlier blog and wanted to post it for you to see once it  aired.
What's interesting for me (and a few people who have already seen it) is that Karen Devine with KESQ also interviews a prolific child molester in this piece.
At first I was shocked by this "creep' and not pleased that this was part of the "Special Report". But, after watching it a couple of times and thinking about it more in-depth, I realized how important it is that people see first-hand what some of these perpetrators are all about. This particular one claimed to have over 300 victims.  And he's not in jail!

Hopefully, parents and society as a whole, watched this and it got them thinking. How is it that someone with his criminal past can beat the system? No wonder the Catholic church has gotten away with it for so long. 

I am pleased with my part in this report and I was so glad to see Karen wearing the blue pin and bracelet I gave her. 

To tell you the truth, I think she was a little overwhelmed by the whole subject matter.  But she did a great job.

So, here's the link.
http://www.kesq.com/video/25891417/index.html

I know that the more these types of stories are reported on, the more those who live in silence about their abuse will feel safe to come forward and start on their journey to healing.

Namaste!

David :)
]]><![CDATA[Blog #92 Coming Out]]>Tue, 16 Nov 2010 15:15:16 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/11/blog-92-coming-out.htmlThere's been more and more publicity being given to sexual abuse.  Recently, Oprah had those 200 men on her show (in the audience) and many local News stations have been reporting on it.  It's great to see. 
And with all the publicity, naturally people are coming forward about the abuses they suffered as children.

I received a call from Randy about a man who contacted It Happens to Boys because he saw the story on TV last week about one of our members.  He needed someone to talk to.  So Randy spoke with him and then asked me if I could call him to follow up.  Most of these men that come forward have never told anyone.  It's a big step.  But like I've said many times before, I believe that the more it is talked about, the more people will feel safe to come out and talk about their abuses.  In my opinion, it's a step in the right direction. It's really the first step toward healing.

And then I was at work this morning early and a gentleman approached me.  He was waiting for someone and he started talking to me about his grandchildren.  He shared with me that he helps take care of them and takes them to/from school each day.
Suddenly out of nowhere he starts to share with me that he had to turn his brother in for molesting several children.  He told me that his brother received an 82 year sentence for abusing several children.  He stated that he would probably die in prison. 

I showed him the rubber bracelet I wear representing "Prevent child abuse".  And I thanked him for sharing the story with me and for turning his brother in to the authorities.  He was proud of his efforts, but at the same time he seemed saddened by it all. So, I asked him about that.  He explained that he wasn't sad for his brother, but rather for the numerous children his brother harmed.

I then told him that there are several organizations that are available for these young victims.  And I gave him a couple websites he can visit to get more information and gave him my phone number should he want to talk some more.

That's what we need to do for each other on this planet.  We are really all connected and are here to be of service to one another.

I only wish that one of the adults at Mater Dei High School would have had the courage to stand up for me as this man did for these young girls.  In my eyes (I doubt he'd accept it) he is a hero.  He did the right thing.

It's great to know that there are folks like him in our society.  Not willing to look the other way.

Therefore, I am grateful that we are talking about this subject in the media and creating a chain reaction. Whether it's the grown man who called to talk about his abuse or the man who was willing to confront his own pedophile brother; it's seems to be working...

Namaste!

David :)]]><![CDATA[Blog #91 November 5, 2010]]>Tue, 09 Nov 2010 09:20:40 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/11/blog-91-november-5-2010.htmlI titled this blog November 5, 2010 because it represents a day that I consider to be one of the most powerful experiences of my life since coming forward about my own abuse. Five of us from It Happens To Boys went to a facility here locally that houses boys ages 6-14 that have been removed from their homes because of abuse. Some have even been removed from their Foster homes for the same reasons.

We met with the younger boys first and played some games. We each introduced ourselves with a physical gesture (you know, a karate kick, jumping, etc). Then as we went around the circle, we had to name each person and imitate their gesture. After that we sat in our chairs as Carol (our leader) had each of us pick up a backpack that was placed in the center of the circle. It was heavy! Must of weighed 40-50 pounds. It was filled with rocks. And as we found out, each rock was painted a different color and a word was written on each of them. Words like "sad, fear, anger, abuse and so on. The purpose was to show us that when we carry around those feelings, it can be pretty heavy.

We passed each rock around the circle and as we held it we said out loud what that word meant to us. Some of the boys just passed them and said nothing. Most of us expressed our feelings.

Now in our group It Happens To Boys, I can be the one who breaks down in tears pretty easily. And this night as hard as I tried not to; tears streamed down my face. Watching and listening as each boy held a rock and talked about what the word meant to them; I couldn't help but realize how they all represented me at various stages in my life. Such difficult challenges they've already faced in their young lives.

The boy who sat next to me couldn't contain his tears either.

So when we were finished doing this exercise, our hour with them was coming to a close. I asked Carol if I could say something. I explained to them (and especially the one next to me) that tears were very healing. But they are only one way I express myself. I explained that I have many happy moments in my life too and that they all have their dreams to fulfill. Right now they might be feeling sad, afraid or whatever, but by being aware that they are in a safe environment, surrounded by people who care about them, they can accomplish anything they set out to do. I especially wanted them to know that they were special to me. And that they would be in my daily meditations and prayers.

Before we left, we each handed the person next to us something happy. Someone gave one boy a sunset on the beach. I received a starry filled night...

When I got home that night, I couldn't help but reflect on this experience. To be quite honest, I couldn't get it off my mind. So after meditating a bit I remembered that just a couple weeks earlier I had the privilege of going to that rehab facility for men recovering from addiction. Maybe part of the purpose for getting involved with this facility for young boys too is the Universe's way of showing me the connection between abuse and addiction. These men at the rehab are really just like these boys at this other facility. The difference is that their childhood abuse is what most likely created the need to use. A way to escape. By volunteering time and talking about how we were abused too, hopefully we can deter these young boys from the need to use. And be of service on their journey to healing.

I asked my God that night and every night since to please give those boys beautiful dreams. And throw in an extra portion of love too.

Namaste!

David :)

]]><![CDATA[Blog #90 More Documents Released]]>Thu, 04 Nov 2010 19:23:50 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/11/blog-90-more-documents-released.htmlI've posted a new article about the Diocese of San Diego having to turn over thousands of documents relating to the sexual abuse of children.  Once again, the church fought tooth and nail to stall the release of these documents.  What did they hope to gain? 
Oddly enough, they agreed back in 2007 to release them ( when they settled 144 lawsuits pending against them) as part of their settlement with plaintiffs.  Why did it take three more years and a court order to get them?  Because that's how powerful the Catholic church is.  I know I've said that statement many times over the years, but it's the truth.  They have lots of money and can manipulate the system to work in their favor. Or at the very least stall the action for years.

This is all very familiar to me.  They did this same thing with me.

I received a call from a News station that was doing a piece on the release of these incrimiating documents.  They wanted to know what I thought.  I told them that it appears that the court system is moving a little faster these days.  I reminded the reporter that it took seven years for me to get a hold of the "smoking gun" documents regarding my perpetrator.  But, as we now know, there is a wealth of information in these "priests files".  And, perhaps the more that is revealed, the more people will really grasp (finally) how corrupt the hierarchy of the Catholic church has been.  Documents showing how they called the accusers "liars". Appauling!   Who are the real liars here? 

Even in cases where the pedophile priest's own superiors stated their concern, the superior's bosses (usually the bishop) would ask that no shame be brought on the church.  Weird! 

So instead of doing the right thing  (this time in San Diego, California), the church used their clout to stall this part of their agreement with the victims of abuse.  Perhaps what they are hoping is that all of this will just go away.  Instead, they should be trying to understand that the reason these documents were requested in the first place is because it gives validity to the victims stories.  And it shows that the church really is a business that does everything in their power to protect their assets.  Even at the expense of hurting children.

Shameful!

Namaste!

David :)



]]><![CDATA[Blog # 89 Recovering Together]]>Thu, 28 Oct 2010 20:30:35 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/10/blog-89-recovering-together.html Today I had the privilege of going to a rehab facility near my home to talk about the subject of abuse. It was really profound. I got to share my story with a group of men who are recovering addicts.

Interestingly enough, there were about 25-30 of us in this room and about a handful of them were willing to share their stories of sexual abuse. Some mentioned that they'd never told anyone before. Others spoke of the rage inside.

I had the opportunity to talk about how I work on my "issues" daily. How I look at my interactions with others and behaviors in my daily life so that I can try and stay focused on my healing. I spoke of the rage I have sometimes, but how I try to pay attention to my reactions and question where those feelings and behaviors are coming from. Before I would just fly off the handle and then feel like crap afterwards. I shared with them how this takes a lot of work, just like recovering from an addiction.

The other thing we discussed is that often times the addiction is a form of self-medicating. Most of the time there is some issue we are trying to escape.

Statistics tell us that a large percentage of adult survivors of abuse are addicted to something. Having to face the issue is too painful so we suppress our feelings with drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling and other addictions. I use the word "survivors" because many have not survived. Many have succumbed to their shame/pain.

I am honored to have attended today. I met some fine men who are working daily on their healing. Luckily for them, it is a safe environment and they are surrounded by people who are facing similar issues. They have counselors who work with them every day. And as each day passes, it's one more day of sobriety. That's the awesome part.

So as usual when I've had the opportunity to speak somewhere, I walk away feeling as though I gained a lot from being there. Sometimes I feel like I walk away having been the one who benefited the most from these gatherings.

Namaste!

David :)

]]><![CDATA[Blog # 88 Speaking Out ]]>Sun, 24 Oct 2010 19:51:05 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/10/blog-88-speaking-out.htmlA couple weeks ago I did an interview with one of our local news stations; Channel 3 KESQ. It will be aired as a two day "special report" about child abuse some time in November. I believe around the 22nd and 23rd. I'm proud to be a part of an important issue that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. At our last It Happens to Boys meeting we met at a local art studio in Palm Desert and painted t-shirts. The t-shirts were the size you would buy for children, because they are going to be used at the conference in March as a display on a revolving wall. We delved into our "inner-child" to paint about our abuses. Karen Devine of KESQ was there to film it. She will be using this in her special report.

So all is good and well with that, but at the same time I couldn't help but be honest and tell you that I am a little envious that a couple of the guys from the group as well as from SNAP were invited to be on a Oprah show about "Men who were sexually abused as boys". I sent Oprah a copy of my book, wrote her numerous letters and even asked some of my family and friends to write to her on my behalf. Still haven't heard anything.

Then I saw Tyler Perry on Oprah last week. He opened up about his molestation and abuse as a child. Now for those of you who do not know who he is; he is the second most powerful person in Hollywood next to James Cameron. He's mega-talented.

After watching the show with Tyler (I have to record the shows and then select the ones I have time to watch) I wasn't so envious of those guys who got to fly to Chicago and participate in a show with Oprah. I realized that we all have our own platform to discuss this topic and really the most important part is that we are talking about it. That way children who are falling prey and adults living in secret about their shame of abuse can see on TV that they are not alone. Hopefully the ones who are being victimized today can come forward and their perpetrators can be criminally charged. And the adults living in secret can find a support group or counseling so that they can get the help they need to live full authentic lives.

That's the goal. At least it is for me.

Yes, the international attention Oprah could give my story and book would be awesome, but maybe that's not the route for me at this time. Maybe being active locally is what is needed. Being of service to those in my local community is what the Universe desires of me.

And on that note, I'll be going with my friend Randy this week up to a place where young men who are transitioning back into the community live. I am going to talk about this subject of abuse. Randy is a dedicated warrior in this battle and has graciously asked me to come and share my story with these men. It will be an honor for me to attend.

I'm told there are usually about 35-45 men there and that many of them have their own stories to tell. Perhaps an explanation as to why they are there. Not an excuse, but an explanation.

I'll keep you posted on exact dates of the interview I did as well as maybe provide a link so you can view it. And l will let you know how the talk this week goes.

Until then, keep me in your meditations and prayers please. Thanks!

Namaste!

David :)

]]><![CDATA[Blog #87 Dorothy]]>Mon, 11 Oct 2010 09:18:53 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/10/blog-87-dorothy.htmlToday would be my step-mother Dorothy's eighty-second birthday.  When I was thinking about what to blog, I decided to talk a little more about her.  And why not on the anniversary of her birthday.
As I wrote in my memoir, she was one of the greatest people I've ever known.  I know that this admiration I have for her isn't the same for all my siblings.  But for me, she was and is an inspiration.

I was thinking about the different stories I wrote about her and that seems to bring up even more memories for me.  Some are great and others, well, not so.

For today, I'm planning on focusing on the pleasant ones.

A funny memory I had recently that brought a smile to my face was how she often was approached in public by people (especially children) that were curious about her electric wheelchair.  Because of the uniqueness of it (if you've read my book you know what I am talking about) these kids would often ask her what happened.  She'd usually come up with a really great response like, " I fell out of an airplane!"  Their eyes would usually get really big and you could see their little minds working.  Trying to visualize what she just told them.

Then of course there were those times when people were not so nice and made snide remarks too. This was always from some adult.  When they'd see us all out to dinner or in the mall shopping (mom and several of us kids) they'd ask her if we were ALL her children.  She always responded with a proud "yes"!  Then would come their stupid remarks.  Things like, "no wonder you're in a wheelchair". 

I think it hurt her feelings, but Dorothy was smart enough to put them in their place.

So even when she was not at home teaching me, all I had to do was pay attention when we were in public and I learned a lot. 

I really miss her...

Happy Birthday mom!  I love and miss you very much!

Namaste!

David :)

]]><![CDATA[Blog #86 One Year Ago]]>Tue, 05 Oct 2010 18:04:05 -0800http://www.davidpricealtarboyalteredlife.com/1/post/2010/10/blog-86-one-year-ago.html A year ago I started this website. And here I am writing my eighty-sixth blog. It's been a year full of exposure. I've tried to stay current on all that is coming out about it, but I know I haven't covered it all (yet).

The recent stories within the Catholic church have been eye-opening for many I'm sure. And now we have the accusations against Bishop Eddie Long of that mega-church (Baptist, I believe) in Atlanta. Did you happen to see the interview of one of the young men who is accusing Bishop Long of sexual abuse? What I saw was pretty convincing. A reporter hunted him down and asked him a few questions. At one point this young man looked right into the camera and said something like; "you know you can't look me in the eyes and say these things didn't happen".

Yet, at the same time I could feel his shame.

It's not easy coming forward and telling people these things. But it is necessary.

Over this past year I have had all kinds of statements made to me about my involvement. Everything from "keep up the good work", to " quit bashing the Catholic church". I had someone tell me that my book should be in the "Adult Reading" section of bookstores. They were referring to some of the details I write of my sexual abuse. Of course, I remind them that I could have written so much more. I think I kept it pretty tame, really. Oh well, I guess you can't please everyone. Especially about a topic as taboo as the sexual abuse of children. I believe sometimes people need to know the violent acts that were perpetrated on us as children.

Which brings me to another thing I wanted to share. I have spent some time sending copies of my memoir to talk show hosts and I've sent numerous emails. Heck, I've even had many people on my behalf send letters too. Sadly, I still haven't landed that "big interview".

It's frustrating at times because I believe that mine is a story worth telling. Even with all the recent exposure the Catholic church has received, they really aren't responding much differently to this atrocity within their organization as I feel they should. I'd even go as far as to say that they are still responding to these abuse cases similar to how they did when I came forward. Smoke and mirrors!

Maybe plaintiff's aren't being deposed for eleven days by several attorneys, but the church is fighting every case that comes forward. Which brings me back to the fact that I am still waiting for a call from Oprah, and the like. Even with all the power she has obtained (rightfully so - a lot of hard work), maybe the Catholic church is still too powerful for her to even talk about.

Well, they aren't for me. I will continue to tell my story and work on healing. That way I can continue to be of service to those who are brave enough to start on their own journey to healing from their abuses.

That's ultimately what it's all about for me.

***By the way, I'm doing an interview tomorrow with one of our local news stations. I'm looking forward to it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks for sticking with me this past year, and I will continue to keep up the dialogue about abuse.

Change is happening...

Namaste!

David :)

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