I titled this blog November 5, 2010 because it represents a day that I consider to be one of the most powerful experiences of my life since coming forward about my own abuse. Five of us from It Happens To Boys went to a facility here locally that houses boys ages 6-14 that have been removed from their homes because of abuse. Some have even been removed from their Foster homes for the same reasons.

We met with the younger boys first and played some games. We each introduced ourselves with a physical gesture (you know, a karate kick, jumping, etc). Then as we went around the circle, we had to name each person and imitate their gesture. After that we sat in our chairs as Carol (our leader) had each of us pick up a backpack that was placed in the center of the circle. It was heavy! Must of weighed 40-50 pounds. It was filled with rocks. And as we found out, each rock was painted a different color and a word was written on each of them. Words like "sad, fear, anger, abuse and so on. The purpose was to show us that when we carry around those feelings, it can be pretty heavy.

We passed each rock around the circle and as we held it we said out loud what that word meant to us. Some of the boys just passed them and said nothing. Most of us expressed our feelings.

Now in our group It Happens To Boys, I can be the one who breaks down in tears pretty easily. And this night as hard as I tried not to; tears streamed down my face. Watching and listening as each boy held a rock and talked about what the word meant to them; I couldn't help but realize how they all represented me at various stages in my life. Such difficult challenges they've already faced in their young lives.

The boy who sat next to me couldn't contain his tears either.

So when we were finished doing this exercise, our hour with them was coming to a close. I asked Carol if I could say something. I explained to them (and especially the one next to me) that tears were very healing. But they are only one way I express myself. I explained that I have many happy moments in my life too and that they all have their dreams to fulfill. Right now they might be feeling sad, afraid or whatever, but by being aware that they are in a safe environment, surrounded by people who care about them, they can accomplish anything they set out to do. I especially wanted them to know that they were special to me. And that they would be in my daily meditations and prayers.

Before we left, we each handed the person next to us something happy. Someone gave one boy a sunset on the beach. I received a starry filled night...

When I got home that night, I couldn't help but reflect on this experience. To be quite honest, I couldn't get it off my mind. So after meditating a bit I remembered that just a couple weeks earlier I had the privilege of going to that rehab facility for men recovering from addiction. Maybe part of the purpose for getting involved with this facility for young boys too is the Universe's way of showing me the connection between abuse and addiction. These men at the rehab are really just like these boys at this other facility. The difference is that their childhood abuse is what most likely created the need to use. A way to escape. By volunteering time and talking about how we were abused too, hopefully we can deter these young boys from the need to use. And be of service on their journey to healing.

I asked my God that night and every night since to please give those boys beautiful dreams. And throw in an extra portion of love too.

Namaste!

David :)

 


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