This first week of January each year is one that stirs up a lot of memories for me.
January 4 is the anniversary of Dorothy's death and today is the anniversary of our dad's death.
Dad's been gone 37 years today and mom (Dorothy) has been gone for 29 years as of this past Tuesday.  Seems so stange to me, even after all these years.  They've been deceased for so many years.

I realize how fortunate I am to be able to see a therapist on a regular basis.  Weeks like this are sometimes more overwhelming than I like to admit.  But, my therapist always has a way of showing me how to honor the feelings and pay attention to the lesson.

Recently in therapy I've been working on my "inner-child".  I'm realizing how so many of my behaviors as an adult are directed by this part of me.  And as part of that process, I recover memories long forgotten. 

During this time of the year (January),  I always find myself reflecting on my current memories of dad and Dorothy and what they represented in my life.  Some of the memories are ugly (especially about dad) and then I remember the events of the day mom (Dorothy) passed away.  If you've read my memoir, you know what I am talking about.  Some years the pain is hard to deal with.  And this year was no exception.  In fact, it's really been tough this year.
However, I know there is a lesson in all of it for me and hopefully I will gain some insight from it all.

Perhaps the fact that I can write about it is a big step.  I know that there is a huge part of me that misses having parents and I often wonder what they think of me and the man I've become? 

I know my therapist (and many in my love circle) will say that mom and dad are very proud. 

I'm working on believing it too!  :)

Namaste!

David :)